MIDNIGHT PARANOIA
Watching Shit and Talking About It
By Marco Beltran, Entertainment Editor, Shitty Reviewer
Being twenty-two and not having a car is a like living in a giant piece of blood-covered shit. I’ve been in fucked up situations before, like when I was coming home on the bus from a long day of work and sat on a piss-covered seat, but this one tops it all off. I can’t do anything unless I commit to sleeping over or inviting someone without feeling like an asshole because I’m using them.
Walking, you say? Bike it? Better for the Environment, Bro/buddy? Fuck you! I have been robbed too many times to give a fuck about Mother Nature. Mother Nature can kiss my piss-covered ass. Sorry about that. It’s-It’s just a sad fate for the car-less commuter.
I think the only thing keeping me from blowing my brains out all over the linoleum floor at my parent’s house has been watching a movie that hits the spot like a cold beer after a frustrating afternoon.
Every week, or in this case every week when school starts, I’ll talk about a movie that made me kick my feet out and sigh in satisfaction. This weeks movie is the most recent Troma release, Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead. I made the terrible mistake of trying to watch this in the living room, but my parents would walk in every time someone was having sex.
It has everything you could want in a movie: Racism, poop jokes, lesbians, chickens, penis mutilation, singing, guys in skirts, more racism, Lloyd Kaufman, and bestial necrophilia. [Editor’s Note: I never thought about combining those two until I saw this movie, oh joy!]
It’s a typical Troma plot, little person versus big corporation. Arbie, a high school graduate with low aspirations, whose activist girlfriend turns into a lesbian after their first sexual encounter. He gets a job in a chicken restaurant to spite her vegan ass and everything goes to shit with chicken zombies and supernatural stuff because fried chicken tycoon guy builds a fast food restaurant on top of Tromahawk Indian burial ground. Lots of green blood. Lots of people throwing up.
Oh, a guy named Paco Bell, all the character’s names are puns off of fast food restaurants, jerks off into a meat grinder, which has been my biggest fear when eating at a fast food restaurant ever since I realized that women get pregnant from semen and not pee.
My favorite part of this movie was the re-emergence of the penis monster in chicken form. That’s the most I’ve enjoyed watching a man get goo all over his face.
LIFE WITH LOUIE
FUNNY SHOW ABOUT WEIRD STUFF ON FX
By Kevin O'Brien, Editor-In-Chief
The creative license that the FX network has provided the writers of its comedies and dramas is uncontested among its basic cable brethren. Only higher tier networks such as HBO and Showtime have consistently supplied a more unfettered platform for content. FX has produced a number of shows that have made full use of the extra slack provided.
Last year there was The League, which revolved around a group of friends, and their fantasy football league which used language and subject matter to sell a believable, modern and funny friendship. At times that required the use of the word “shit” or lengthy rants about masturbation, however, it always worked and will be returning this September for a second season.
Another example of FX’s creative-freedom-producing-solid-content is the animated spy comedy Archer from the minds that brought you Frisky Dingo. Archer used both the creative license and the animation medium to bring you jokes that you could not find anywhere else on television outside of Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim. FX’s latest contribution, Louie, premiered June 29th. Written, directed, and even edited by the famed stand up comedian Louis C.K., the fictional show follows the life of Louis C.K. as he raises his two daughters, deals with his recent divorce and performs stand up comedy.
The show has at times bizarre humor that demonstrates that Louis C.K. is far more than a simple shock jock. Occasionally the show will break from the humor totally and portray real moments of genuine drama, exhibiting moments of real anger, distress and depression. A good example is the beginning of the third episode which opens on a poker game.
Louie is playing with a few of his friends many of which are making fun of an older poker player for his homosexuality. This leads into a very serious moment of exposition by the character about the use of the word “faggot” by Louis C.K., as well as the history of the word and the repercussions it could have on gay members of the audience. The moment is real and poignant and lingers long enough to make its point before it is broken by the next joke.
Louie is another ambitious and hilarious show to FX’s current lineup that may not be for the feint of heart, but will reward anyone willing to brave the language and controversial subject matter.