Union Weekly - California State University, Long Beach

DON'T STOP BELIEVIN'

GLEE IN REAL LIFE DOESN’T MAKE YOU WANT TO BREAK OUT IN SONG

By Colleen Brown, Contributor

    I’m a confessed Gleek. As the former president of my high school show choir, I watch Glee religiously and giggle at how incredibly accurately it portrays show choir people. While there are some definite fallacies in the way the choir operates, (they seem to know the words to songs they’ve never heard of and they all tend to break out mysteriously in the same dance) they have the drama down pat. Get a room of high school teens together, not to mention ones who are into theater, and you have a hormonal explosion.
     Many of my show choir experiences have mirrored the events that take place on Glee. My freshman year I developed a colossal crush on one of my fellow choir members who naturally, a few months later, came out of the closet.
I became acquainted with a few girls who were primarily concerned with whom they were or weren’t sexting. There were even a handful of people like Finn who made the crossover from sports to music and found a passion for a talent they hadn’t realized they possessed.
     But mostly, I met a copious amount of Rachel Berry’s. Divas. People who had an extravagant view of their importance and simply expected spectacular solos regardless of merit. But unlike Rachel Berry on Glee, great deals of them were mildly talented at best. And unfortunately, this last type of person is who made up the majority of people at my high school, regardless of whether they were in choir or not.
     I’m only an incoming freshman at Cal State Long Beach, but I’m not hiding the fact that I hate most high school kids. I went to high school in Orange County, where everyone has their nose in the air politically and selfishness is commonplace to the average teenager. I encountered individuals who had more problems with my successes than with my shortcomings.
People were constantly making their choices based off of what other people thought. I realize this all sounds fairly typical of high school kids, but coming from a person who never fell victim to that sort of lifestyle, engaging with these people as peers was a nightmare. I have never seen so many people caring about what other people were doing, and so few people caring about making themselves into the people they wanted to be. But starting college is opening a new door for me.
     Beginning to meet people at CSULB is helping me realize that there will be an abundance of well adjusted critical thinkers for me to interact with. I’m sure I may end up meeting more Rachel’s, dating the occasional Puck, or even interacting with a Sue Sylvester, (which I would probably secretly enjoy) but with 35,000 new people to meet, fantastic new opportunities seem endless.

CHELSEA SMILES

By Chelsea Stevens, Opinions Editor

Perusing the internet in my insatiable summer boredom, I came across a poll entitled “Most Annoying Things in Life”. Going through the list, I was pretty surprised by what the American internet-connected masses found to be the most aggravating things in the universe, mostly because they really aren’t that big of a deal. I’m going to lay out the top ten for you so you know what I’m talking about.

     1. Republicans
     2. Terrorists
     3. Mosquitos
     4. Being in a slow moving line
     5. Bullies
     6. Nonstop Talkers
     7. Slow drivers in the left lane
     8. Telemarketers
     9. Meetings that waste everyone’s time
     10. Lit cigarettes thrown out of a car window

First of all, yes, Republicans really beat terrorists, though some could say they’re synonyms. Just kidding Dad, but I still might agree with their position at the forefront. There isn’t really another group of people on Earth that collectively hold the exact opposite of the majority of my views, not to mention their cunning ability to combine those views with both Jesus and Sarah Palin’s voice.
The only thing I can see beating Republicans on my own Most Annoying list is number six on this poll, Nonstop Talkers. I can’t stand anything less than people who love the sound of their own voice. I never really give a shit about what they’re saying, and they generally don’t either, and they continue their blabbing to the point that I want to close their mouth with my fist.
Other than that, I’m not sure anything else on this list is very deserving of its position in Top 10. Terrorists don’t even really have a place in this category, seeing as you aren’t really capable of being annoyed after they fuck you up with their planes. Unless you’re a complete pussy, bullies stopped being a problem after 4th grade. How old are you to be using the term “bully” anyway?
Thankfully, the rest of the poll held a few more viable options. Miley Cyrus and Twilight could have done much better than their respective ranks at 24 and 48 if half the internet wasn’t littered with 13-year-old girls posting pictures from their cell phones on Facebook. Gold Spammers on World of Warcraft got #77, which reminded me what the other half of the internet is littered with.
I still feel a lot of the Most Annoying Things in Life were left off this lengthy list. I hate attention whores on Facebook who post a status with the sole purpose of making people comment on it. What about those condescending assholes who make conversations about obscure bands just because they know you’ve never heard of them? If you’re really bored and have nothing better to do after you finish reading this, send the things that annoy you most over to me at chelsea.union@gmail.com. Maybe you’ll get a special shoutout in the first semester’s issue. Maybe.