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A player hovers in the air as he chants an evil incantation. The other players are like “oh shiiit!” which is a sin (swearing).

BASKETBALL NARROWLY WINS 74-76, SATAN DEVIL SINS

RIVERSIDE FELT THE WRATH OF SATAN AND HELL AND ALL THAT STUFF. SINFULLY BAD HEADLINES.

    By Kevin O'Brien, News Director

    Photos By John Yang, Union Staffer

Last Friday in the Pyramid, CSULB men’s basketball went up against the UC Riverside Highlanders. The 49ers took the lead early; Casper Ware #22 went in for a huge slam-dunk bringing the score to 14 to 4. The Highlanders come back and hit a three, Ware responded by sinking a three of his own to maintain the lead. That was the rhythm of the first half, the 49ers always maintained the lead. It was never by much and it was always evident that they were only just staying ahead.


The second half was another story. With the replacement of a few players, the Highlanders were faster, harder and more focused. It started off innocuously enough; the score was 39 to 26 in Long Beach’s favor. Lazdauskas #10 passed to Fleming #50 who put in a casual hook shot, 43 to 33. The Highlanders started to close the gap through a progressively faster and more disciplined game. When they needed to beat us to the ball, they did. When they needed to sink a shot, they did. Before the Long Beach fans knew what had happened, their comfortable lead became uncomfortably close, 52 to 48 with only 10 minutes left. Luckily, TJ Robinson started to chain points together. He would go up for a two, make it, get fouled and then put two more shots up in freethrows.


The more desperate the Highlanders got, the more fouls they made, and the more points the 49ers put up on the board. With a narrow lead, the 49ers snagged a rebound. Anderson #21 ran down court, passed to Ware who took a huge leap from the freethrow line over the taller players’ heads and put in the game’s final point. With that spectacular play, the 49ers were able to secure the lead, 76-74. Long Beach State won, but it had to work for it; the Highlanders’ impressive comeback in the second half was not enough for them to take the lead away from the 49ers.
[Editor’s Note: Although our News Director Kevin O’Brien is credited for writing this article, it is clear he was channeling Satan to compose this devilishly good piece! Time to go to Hell, see ya.]

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